Core Belief’s of the Human Development Institute

We all act from core beliefs or assumptions about ourselves, other people, and life. Although those assumptions are often deeply held and even unconscious, they are powerful determiners of our behavior. For example, a person who believes, “I’m a good, though imperfect person,” is going to respond differently to life than someone who believes, “I’m inadequate.” Likewise, someone who believes, “Life is what I make it,” will experience adversity differently than someone who believes, “It’s a jungle out there.”

Not only do we hold deeply held beliefs or assumptions as individuals but we do so collectively, in our organizations and institutions. I want to make our basic beliefs at the Human Development Institute explicit. What assumptions do we make about humankind, life, our ability to change? The purpose is so you can get to know us and understand something about our philosophy and approach to personal and relationship development.

I need to say that presenting our most basic beliefs and assumptions is somewhat risky because what we believe can’t be proven empirically. Understanding them has to grow more out of their use and practice than a philosophical debate. Columbus and his contemporaries could well have debated until their deaths about the shape of the earth. It simply couldn’t be proven by their limited knowledge. Instead, Columbus had to trust his assumption that the earth was round and test it in order to know its validity.

In the same way, we can’t “prove” our assumptions. It isn’t my intent to do so. I’ll put some of our assumptions out there and offer some evidence, but you’ll have to decide if they “ring true” for you. So here we go.

People want to succeed. We have great hope in humankind. Despite lots of evidence to the contrary we don’t believe that people make a conscious decision to fail. The desire to succeed is as natural as breathing, eating and sleeping. No one wakes up in the morning thinking, “Today I’m going to see how miserable I can be.” Or “I’m going to alienate my teenage daughter.” Or, “I’m going to let anger get the best of me as I’m out driving on the highway.” Or, “I’m going to see if I can blow my presentation in front of my customer.” Failure happens, but it is not the result of deliberate intent.

People learn to fail. Failure is learned from growing up in an imperfect world in which we come to false conclusions about ourselves, relationships, and how to survive. A young boy, jealous of his baby brother, hits his weaker sibling. His mother becomes angry and calls him “naughty” and punishes him. The child learns from this experience, probably in ways his mother did not intend. This is a rather mild example. More severe examples happen every day in which children, adolescents, and adults are programmed to have a distorted view of themselves and life. People act on these flawed assumptions in ways that that result in failure, unhappiness, and unproductive conflict.

Life is governed by laws. The chemical formula for water is H20. Never will three atoms of oxygen be combined with two atoms of hydrogen to form water. Its nature is unchanging. Likewise, the law of gravity is pervasive. We are always subject to its consequences. As human beings, we are dependent upon the consistency of these laws. We must all eat, drink, keep our temperature within certain bounds just to survive.

Likewise, we believe there are psychological laws that govern our existence. A few examples of such laws are: We see the world not so much as it is but rather through the filter of our beliefs. The mind seeks to prove itself “right” about whatever it happens to believe. Our beliefs (conscious or not) determine our reactions and behavior. Reality (the ways things are) is neutral—embrace it and experience freedom; resist it and find frustration and pain. Our choices determine our destiny. The source of our experience is inside. Trust begets trust. And so on. Much like physical laws, as we understand and align to psychological laws we find success, fulfillment, joy, peace, love, and happiness.

Some ways of living are more enriching than others. People organize their lives around themes. One theme is fear and scarcity in which life is a battleground over which we don’t feel a lot of control. Another is duty and obligation in which we find safety through compliance, submission, maybe even avoidance. Another is achievement and success in which we continually seek to have and do more, bigger, and better. Another is abundance and goodwill in which we open our hearts to the wonder of life and take full responsibility for our experience, here and now. Each of these four themes (or ways of living) are made up of unique characteristics, core beliefs, and behavioral practices. The meaning of success changes as we move from one way of living to another. Some ways of living are better than others and the people who are happiest and most fulfilled live from the principles, beliefs, and practices of abundance and goodwill. These principles can be learned and incorporated into our lives.

The nature of man is good. To quote John Drinkwater: “We know the hemlock from the rose, the pure from stained, the noble from the base.” Our deepest nature knows what is good. (Hostility does not breed joy.) And our deepest nature desires what is good—joy, peace, love—even when we do and justify that which is “wrong.” I don’t mean for this to sound moralistic. But I do mean to say that something deep inside us knows right from wrong, good from bad, whether we act upon this knowledge or not. This principle is the basis for great hope and trust in humankind. If man can learn to listen, this inner nature will lead him towards fulfillment and growth.

People exist within an interpersonal environment. It isn’t possible to understand an individual without understanding the interpersonal context (family and community) in which he/she exists or comes from. People are shaped by their social environment. The most fundamental beliefs that influence our life experiences are not only learned from others but also through our interactions with others. And many of the greatest challenges we have in life are in our relationships as we try to find the right balance between our responsibility for ourselves and responsibility to others. Our closest relationships are a laboratory for our personal growth and development. We don’t change in isolation. We change in relation to others. Ultimately, nothing is more important or magical than our relationships.

Living from the “inside out.” Living from the “inside out” is a critical strategy to personal growth. It is a refusal to let “out there” determine “in here.” It requires a willingness to no longer live “small” but to recognize that my ability to choose is bigger than whatever is showing up on the doorstep of my life. It requires that I give up waiting…until I feel better… for circumstances to change…for other people to change…for some future event…until I discover the magical formula, and instead take full responsibility for my life today. Doing so is not easy. It is far easier to wait and put the blame elsewhere. But it is the price that comes with living an abundant, joyful, and effective life.

People can change. People can change and transform their lives. Humankind is blessed with awareness and the ability to make choices. We witness incredible personal transformations all the time. It happens as people become acutely aware of the negative consequences (ripoffs) of their worn-out and self-defeating patterns of thinking and behaving, replace these with a compelling vision of what they truly want, and take responsibility to make that happen. Change is accelerated with outside help. Our purpose, at HDI, is to teach you concrete strategies and skills to overcome challenges (internal and external) and make new choices that lead to a positive state of mind from which you can achieve your highest vision.

Roger K. Allen, Ph.D. is an expert in personal and organizational change. The tools and methods Dr. Allen offers have helped tens of thousands of people transform the ways they work and live. To learn more about him and his services, visit http://www.abouthdi.com. To learn more about his new book “The Hero’s Choice: Living from the Inside Out”, go to www.theheroschoice.com. Its also available on amazon.com or any local bookstore.